Endurance
October 02, 2025
I must confess about my disease.
A sickness born from a deficiency of labour and focus.
Slave to the allure of novelty, I kept picking up new desires and discarding them.
Degrading my mind, consistently training myself to give up.
Left lacking endurance and desiring an iron mind.
One that relishes the joy of staying calm when things get hard.
A mind that just petitions for one more step.
There is this enduring eternal comfort in overcoming a challenge, in the knowledge that there was nothing more left to give.
No one worships the immediate gratification of giving up not even you.
It’s not just all purely physical, a great element of importance here is to simply be mindful. To plan, to think, to question on how you can do better. Not just wielding the axe uncontrollably without purposing. The pain is in the endless, quiet times spent sharpening the axe and questioning weather its worth even wielding it in the first place.
Endurance has become a form of meditation for me, a simplification of my being, a squashing of the external doubts a rising light and flame burning inside. The fucking engine.